It’s been a while
since I have taken the time to sit down and write out my thoughts and
experiences. I have grown so fond of my life here and I guess while I was in
the midst of living it I have forgotten to reflect on it with consideration and
gratitude. Since my last update the family that owns the house we are living in
returned from their vacation in the states and it has been a joy to get to know
them. They have three little kids that have been so fun to play with. I got
another opportunity to sing in the church band and this time I got to pick the
song and solo in it! It was a great experience to share some of my favorite
worship songs with my church here in Malawi.
I have realized how far I’ve come and how much I’ve learned
since I first arrived here. I see people I know when I drive into town to go
grocery shopping. I know how to get around the city and some simple directions;
I’ve learned how to drive on the left side of the road. I have been exposed to
a different culture in more ways than I thought was possible. I have learned
traditional customs and everyday street smarts that every Malawian should know.
I have seen how others grew up and the daily struggles that they face, things
that I have never even imagined dealing with. I have found appreciation for the
life I live in the US as well as guilt and confusion. I have met so many
wonderful friends that I am going to miss dearly everyday I am away from them.
I have found new causes and people that I want to support,
new ministries that my heart cries out to. I have been challenged by my
environment, as well as the people in it. I have also been uplifted in the same
ways and situations. I have had the opportunity to share my story with others,
and even realized some hardships in my life that I do not even give thought to.
It is a strange feeling for people to call out trials in your life that you
have always just dealt with because you had to and that you never saw as a
life-changing event. I have been asked questions that I have never had to answer
before, and met people that were kind to me when they had no reason to be. I
have been trusted with many people’s stories and secrets and through that I
have seen faith, trust, vulnerability, and Christ.
These past few weeks were full of reflection and coming to
terms with the fact that I am headed back to the states, even if I am going
somewhat unwillingly. I have gotten used to my life here and I love the
adjustments living here has called out in me. I am so reliant on God and others
here and not just myself like I am at home. I have been shown that my gifts,
when put into action, are always enough in the eyes of the Lord, and that I can
do so much for His kingdom than I ever thought I could. I have known that I love missions but after
my first long term missions trip I can actually see myself living abroad,
adopting another culture, and church family. The dreams that used to scare me
don’t seem so impossible anymore. I need your help in praying for my calling. I
am searching out a place to work, devote myself to, and to spend my time for
the next few years that will glorify God, His people, and put my gifts into
action. Please pray for guidance, opportunities, and above all trust and faith
in His decisions, and timing. I don’t know what my future holds but if it is
anything like my time in Malawi I know that it will be rewarding, glorifying,
yet completely terrifying at the same time. I am so willing to live a life that
is out of my comfort zone in order to bring people into Christ’s kingdom. I
want people to see His love for them through my actions and sometimes words. I
want a life that is fully surrendered to Him.
Adaptability is something that I have always struggled with.
I think that mission’s work really stretches me in this area and allows me to
go with the flow. Last week was supposed to be our last week of activities
while we are here. The last time we would get to see all of the people we have
met through all of the ministries we have been a part of. All but one of the
days activities last week got cancelled and instead of being sad that I
wouldn’t get to say goodbye to the people I have been working with I saw it as
a blessing that I didn’t know that the last time I was with them was actually
the last time. I think God knows how hard it is going to be for me to leave
this place and these people and was making those goodbyes a little easier for
me. There is always a light in the darkness.
I am in the midst of packing and deciding what I am going to
leave her and to whom I wish to leave them to. I plan on coming back with
significantly less that I arrived with. I am very blessed in the states to have
more than I need and it seems only right to leave what I have brought here.
This week we will be on safari, which I am so unsure about. People say that it
will be like a vacation, a relaxing time. I hope they are right because at this
point in the trip I am feeling exhausted in everyway. I am not looking forward
to the extremely long plane ride but once I am on my way home I am sure I will
be excited to arrive and see everyone I have been missing so dearly. We get
back from the safari on Friday and that is when we will be reunited with the
Flood interns that have been in San Diego all summer. I am so excited to
reconnect with them and hear about their summers abroad. I am sure that talking
to them will make me very anxious to get back home to San Diego! We will have a
one day retreat with them and then hop on a plane on Sunday right after we make
a quick appearance at church to say goodbye to the congregation that has so
graciously welcomed us as their own.
Hopefully I will be able to write again before I get ready
to head home next Sunday. In the mean time know that I miss you all very much
and please continue to pray for our team. These next few days are going to be
very challenging, and I know that I will need Gods grace to get through them
and not completely loose myself if the emotions of saying goodbye for an
unknown amount of time. Thank you!
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