New Beginnings

 Since I have gotten back from Malawi, God has been at work in my life in unbelievable ways! I am so excited to share His FAITHFULNESS with you all! Coming back from Malawi wasn't an easy transition. I wasn't ready to leave by any means, but the words of a missionary I met there stuck with me, "You are in the exact place that God wants you to be at all times." When I was in Malawi that is where God wanted me, and now that I am back home in the States I have been trying to see the work God has for me to do here at this time in life.

After recovering from jet lag and sickness I moved back down to San Diego with a wonderful group of girls. I was only working a part time job at that time and felt like I would never find full time work. I started praying about my fears and a few weeks later I had a full time job as a missionary with an incredible non-profit called Beautiful Feet. I am working on producing a clothing line for this company as well as taking part in a few short term mission trips throughout the year. Never in a million years did I think that I would be able to combine my two passions of missions and fashion, and I didn't, only God can make stuff like that happen.

I started working with Beautiful Feet and was filled with joy for the work I am getting to take part in. Then out of the blue I got asked to step in at my alma mater PLNU as a Resident Director for the rest of the year. This is a dream job for me, so I started praying about how in the world I could possibly make two full time jobs work. After about a week on contemplation, prayer, and consideration I accepted the position and have been living in a dorm with three hundred college students for about 2 weeks now. The growth I get to witness, and the conversations I get to have with people is a clear sign of the work God is calling me to in the States, in the location He has placed me right now. I get to help students though the many challenges of being a freshmen in college, and I am so honored to do so.

It has been the biggest blessing to know that I am doing God's work here at home, just as much as I was in Malawi. I am getting more comfortable with being at home but it won't be long before I am global again, which gives me hope and excitement.

I wanted to share this story with everyone to give hope, when people are going through hard times it is so hard to see the end of the tunnel. I was in that place when looking for a job and then I had so many offers I didn't know what to make of them all. We serve a God that will OVERWHELM you with blessing and close doors in order to lead you to the right one.

I need your help. My job as a missionary with Beautiful Feet requires me to get monthly supporters. My salary will be fundraised and supplied to me by people who believe in what I am doing. If you want to talk more with me about the position I would love that. Please feel free to contact me and we can set up a time to chat. If you are interested in giving today, you can become a monthly donor through our website Beautifulfeet.org just click on the give tab in the top right corner and support a missionary. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read this and supporting me in prayer and possibly financially as well.

Welcome Home

      Im back in the USA and its never been so much work to fit back into my own culture. I am so glad to be home and have found much needed rest and time with friends and family. My jet lag is slightly annoying and I cant wait to be over it, I actually looked up the negatives of jet lag and learned that depending on the hours of time change you experience, that is how many days you need to give yourself to readjust. That means that I won't start to feel normal again for 9 days! I am currently on day 6 so things are starting to get better thankfully.

I have been keeping a list of the things that have been shocking to me, or things that have caught my attention but never seemed to matter before. Right when we got off the plane my team wanted to get their first Starbucks in 2 months so we were in line and by the time I got up to the front I saw these apples for sale by the cash register, they were gigantic and individually plastic wrapped. America is big on size as well as cleanliness and the rest of the world is just not on that level. That was my first shock. Apples aren't supposed to be that big, its the size of a whole meal, why does it need to be individually wrapped, what a waste of plastic....etc. It was an interesting experience and I had only been in America for two minutes.

I had to buy myself lunch for the plane since I had been traveling for more that 30 hours and they weren't serving food on our domestic flight to San Diego, so I got in line at a fast food mexican restaurant. I knew what I wanted, and when I made it to the front of the line the pace at which the workers were moving and talking to me was overwhelming and I felt like I could state my order fast enough to please her. Then she asked me what dressing I wanted and I didn't see that I needed to have a choice prepared beforehand so I took my time to look at the long list of options and she just ended up picking one for me and sending me on my way because I was slowing down her line. Lets just say I got back to my terminal a but flustered.

Many other things around town have stood out to me since I have been home like the quality of toilet paper, the nice cars that EVERYONE drives, so many choices, so many stores, its all a but overwhelming. Life is so easy here yet everyone finds something to complain about. People think that people in Africa are poor and feel sorry for them because they don't have all of the material possessions that Americans do, but the thing that they are missing is relational value. Africans have such a rich culture with a heavy importance on family and relationships. They are rich in the sense of having true relationships and fellowship, material possessions would simply be a distraction. Possessions are all most of us have here, family time is of no importance. In a home with multiple family members everyone gets their own food and then goes to their own rooms to spend time on their computers or watching their T.V.s. Now I know that not everyone is like this but it is something that really stood out to me. Where, how, and with who we spend our time is what makes us rich.

I am back at home in LA now resting up before I move semi permanently back to San Diego. I am currently looking for a job in San Diego and getting prepared for the move. I don'd know what the future holds for me but I know that I am on Gods plan and not my own. He will direct me toward what work He needs done in San Diego and I will follow His direction. Please keep me and my team in your prayers and we readjust, and try to translate all we have learned into our lives here. Thank you so much for your continued love and support.

Malawi 8/11/13

  It’s been a while since I have taken the time to sit down and write out my thoughts and experiences. I have grown so fond of my life here and I guess while I was in the midst of living it I have forgotten to reflect on it with consideration and gratitude. Since my last update the family that owns the house we are living in returned from their vacation in the states and it has been a joy to get to know them. They have three little kids that have been so fun to play with. I got another opportunity to sing in the church band and this time I got to pick the song and solo in it! It was a great experience to share some of my favorite worship songs with my church here in Malawi.

I have realized how far I’ve come and how much I’ve learned since I first arrived here. I see people I know when I drive into town to go grocery shopping. I know how to get around the city and some simple directions; I’ve learned how to drive on the left side of the road. I have been exposed to a different culture in more ways than I thought was possible. I have learned traditional customs and everyday street smarts that every Malawian should know. I have seen how others grew up and the daily struggles that they face, things that I have never even imagined dealing with. I have found appreciation for the life I live in the US as well as guilt and confusion. I have met so many wonderful friends that I am going to miss dearly everyday I am away from them.

I have found new causes and people that I want to support, new ministries that my heart cries out to. I have been challenged by my environment, as well as the people in it. I have also been uplifted in the same ways and situations. I have had the opportunity to share my story with others, and even realized some hardships in my life that I do not even give thought to. It is a strange feeling for people to call out trials in your life that you have always just dealt with because you had to and that you never saw as a life-changing event. I have been asked questions that I have never had to answer before, and met people that were kind to me when they had no reason to be. I have been trusted with many people’s stories and secrets and through that I have seen faith, trust, vulnerability, and Christ.

These past few weeks were full of reflection and coming to terms with the fact that I am headed back to the states, even if I am going somewhat unwillingly. I have gotten used to my life here and I love the adjustments living here has called out in me. I am so reliant on God and others here and not just myself like I am at home. I have been shown that my gifts, when put into action, are always enough in the eyes of the Lord, and that I can do so much for His kingdom than I ever thought I could.  I have known that I love missions but after my first long term missions trip I can actually see myself living abroad, adopting another culture, and church family. The dreams that used to scare me don’t seem so impossible anymore. I need your help in praying for my calling. I am searching out a place to work, devote myself to, and to spend my time for the next few years that will glorify God, His people, and put my gifts into action. Please pray for guidance, opportunities, and above all trust and faith in His decisions, and timing. I don’t know what my future holds but if it is anything like my time in Malawi I know that it will be rewarding, glorifying, yet completely terrifying at the same time. I am so willing to live a life that is out of my comfort zone in order to bring people into Christ’s kingdom. I want people to see His love for them through my actions and sometimes words. I want a life that is fully surrendered to Him.

Adaptability is something that I have always struggled with. I think that mission’s work really stretches me in this area and allows me to go with the flow. Last week was supposed to be our last week of activities while we are here. The last time we would get to see all of the people we have met through all of the ministries we have been a part of. All but one of the days activities last week got cancelled and instead of being sad that I wouldn’t get to say goodbye to the people I have been working with I saw it as a blessing that I didn’t know that the last time I was with them was actually the last time. I think God knows how hard it is going to be for me to leave this place and these people and was making those goodbyes a little easier for me. There is always a light in the darkness.

I am in the midst of packing and deciding what I am going to leave her and to whom I wish to leave them to. I plan on coming back with significantly less that I arrived with. I am very blessed in the states to have more than I need and it seems only right to leave what I have brought here. This week we will be on safari, which I am so unsure about. People say that it will be like a vacation, a relaxing time. I hope they are right because at this point in the trip I am feeling exhausted in everyway. I am not looking forward to the extremely long plane ride but once I am on my way home I am sure I will be excited to arrive and see everyone I have been missing so dearly. We get back from the safari on Friday and that is when we will be reunited with the Flood interns that have been in San Diego all summer. I am so excited to reconnect with them and hear about their summers abroad. I am sure that talking to them will make me very anxious to get back home to San Diego! We will have a one day retreat with them and then hop on a plane on Sunday right after we make a quick appearance at church to say goodbye to the congregation that has so graciously welcomed us as their own.

Hopefully I will be able to write again before I get ready to head home next Sunday. In the mean time know that I miss you all very much and please continue to pray for our team. These next few days are going to be very challenging, and I know that I will need Gods grace to get through them and not completely loose myself if the emotions of saying goodbye for an unknown amount of time. Thank you!

Malawi 7/27/13

I got back to the city of Lilongwe last night at 2 a.m. and here is the story. 

Last Monday we took a four-hour mini bus ride to Lake Malawi. It was a rough ride, my knees were never without a metal bar against them. When we finally arrived the beautiful view made the long travel worth it. All I wanted to do was relax and that’s what I did for about an hour until we had to go to a work crew meeting. This was a YoungLife camp at the lake and we were staying at a resort that was really a hotel with individual rooms around its property. The place was run down and it was out job as work crew to make sure that the kids felt like they were at a 5 star resort. The first full day was spent doing manual labor. Once lunchtime rolled around I was completely spent, with nowhere to sleep. Later that night we finally got our cabin assignments and I crashed hard for longer than I was supposed to. This week at the lake was going to consist of three different camps. When one left after three days another batch of kids would show up. Preparing for the kids was harder than actually having them there. I think the disorganization of tasks was the most frustrating. Once all of the activities started things improved, there was beach volleyball and soccer, a bonfire, a food fight, and swimming in the lake. The campers had cabin time with their leader and a few times for lessons about what the Christian life looks like.

I have realized that I am not a natural born camper. I didn’t enjoy the aspect of being dirty all of the time or smelling like the lake, but I tried to work as hard as I could everyday to make camp a memorable experience for the campers. I met so many wonderful people, mostly from the work crew. I am always amazed at the relationships that I am able to form in such a short amount of time. Its my friendships with these people that is going to make leaving Malawi so hard.

We had a few free hours between camps yesterday so all of the work crew jumped in the back of a truck that drove us down the road to a fishing port. We got into a boat and set out for an island in the middle of the lake. The boat ride was so nice, and once we got to the island we climbed around on all of the rocks and went swimming! It was such a fun adventure and the water was so clear we could see all of the fish we were swimming with!

My friend Krysti was sharing a room with me and had started to feel sick. I did my best to take care of her with the limited supplies that I had with me at camp, but she ended up having to go to a local doctor who told her that she probably has Malaria. Not good new. Her and I were asked if we wanted to head back home and we did so we had two Malawians go with us to navigate the public transportation and we were off at about 4pm. We got a ride to the bus station and caught a mini bus to the first stop where we waited an hour for a large bus that should have taken us all the way home but they were all full. Luckily our new friend Andrew took good care of us and speaks the local language so he did his best to figure out an alternative plan. We decided to take a mini bus all the way home so we jumped on the next one because it was getting pretty dark and was almost 8pm. The bus went down the road for about 5 minutes and then decided that it wasn’t going to make the two-hour trip back to Lilongwe after all. They pretty much just kicked us out and tried to help us find a random passing car to take us to the closest bus depot. After about a half an our we found a random man driving a mini van that took us to a local bus/ truck stop. We waited on the side of the road for another hour waiting for a large bus or even a truck that hauls goods to agree to give us a life home. It was about 10 pm at this time and I was getting cold so I busted open my suit case and added to my outfit right on the side of my road with all of my friends laughing at me for changing in public. We FINALLY found a businessman in a small Mercedes Benz who was on his was to our city. We had asked about 7 different cars and trucks for rides before we found this man. We got in the car without knowing anything about this person and trusted him to get us home. Andrew talked to him the whole time to keep him awake and to find out it he was trustworthy. I ignorantly fell to sleep and woke up in Lilongwe! It was about 1 a.m. when we finally arrived. Pastor Sean met us and took us home where my wonder host Edith was waiting for us with a full dinner prepared.

Throughout this whole process and week I was diligently in prayer. It has probably been the hardest week I have endured since I have been here in Malawi. The camp was so trying and really tested my patience and endurance. The journey home was so scary at times and all I could do was pray that God was sitting next to me wherever I was. I don’t think I have ever been so grateful in my life as when I was sitting in that last car on my way back to Lilongwe. I couldn’t believe that we were secure and actually found a ride all the way back home. When we arrived at my house I was exhausted and giddy all at the same time. God has shown me that even in situations where I am uncomfortable and not in control He ALWAYS reigns. He is always in control and I should be thanking Him for the trials that are opportunities to increase my faith and trust in Him.

Since I am back early without the rest of the interns, and Krysti is resting in bed I am going to start doing all of the things we would normally do in a week by myself! Tonight we have college hangout and Saturday night church. I am so glad that I don’t have to miss these things! Tomorrow I will get to go to Flood and sat goodbye to a few missions teams that are just about to head back to the states. I am realizing how settled I am here in Lilongwe. It is going to be so painful to leave. I don’t know when I will be back or when I will get to see these friends I have made again and that is the worst part. I am torn between two worlds. I miss my home, my friends, and family, but there is something about living in Malawi that makes my dependence and relationship with Christ so tangible. I never thought I would absolutely love it here but I am realizing that I do and that I am not ready to leave this place. 

Malawi 7/20/13

         I have become so fond of listening to crickets outside my window as I fall asleep at night. Last night, we went over to the house where Julia, one on the interns, is staying and her family cooked us dinner. We were supposed to eat there the night before but the water went out and there was no way to cook dinner so we rescheduled. As they were getting ready to start cooking the power went out which is widely expected but always a surprise. The remedy was so go outside and start two small charcoal fires that we cooked sweet potatoes and chicken over. It takes a bit longer but it was so enjoyable just to sit outside around the fire and under the starts with good people. This family just got a new puppy and it took turns falling asleep on us. The night was amazing and we learned more about what we will be doing next week at the YoungLife camp we are serving at.

We go to villages quite a bit and there are sights I will never get used to. Children always run up to us and grab or hands or pet our skin; and usually there are one small child, maybe age 5 or 6 who has a baby ties to their back. Its most likely a little girl that has the task of watching over this infant while she tries to run and play with the kids her age. This doesn’t seem to bother them at all, but I can see that when the other kids run around and play they are usually tending to the baby strapped to their backs.

Last week at Chisomo Idea I think I had the most fun I have and may ever have! The language barrier between the kids and us interns is deep so after a few minutes of starting at each other you usually just start running around. This week I passed out some girly jewelry that my friend Teagan sent me off to Malawi with and they loved it! Then we started running around a little. I decided that teaching them how to do a conga line would be fun and I was right! I had almost all of the kids lined up holding each other’s shoulders and kicking every three steps! I was laughing so hard and I bet the kids didn’t even know why. I also started doing some yoga poses and found out that some kids were copying me so I started a mini yoga class right there on the dirt soccer field. It was such a great day and I am always so sad to leave those kids.

Yesterday we had a rest day so we decided to go to a market to buy some Malawi souvenirs. So far on the trip we haven’t gone shopping at all so we were very excited. We showed up at the first market and it resembled something of a swap meet where everyone has similar things and there is too much to look at. The only thing different from shopping in America are the men that shamelessly solicit you to buy there things. They sow you things you don’t want, they attack you if they see you looking at anything they are selling, and they don’t take no for an answer. They are trained salesmen to the point of fault.  Oh yeah and I forgot to mention that there are no prices so you have to haggle. I hate haggling. I feel like I am insulting them if I issue to low a price and I know that they are ripping me off if I take their offered price. I was swarmed by so many salesmen and if I said that I wanted to look around but I would come back, they would make me promise that I would in fact come back. It was a completely overwhelming experience that I didn’t like altogether but I did like the outcome. Although I had to have my friend Krysti with me at all time because she wasn’t afraid to say no to people I ended up with some pretty cool stuff. I got some paper beads, which I have wanted for awhile, I got a beautiful painting that I didn’t know I wanted until I was shown about 100 paintings. I also got three meters of fabric that I am so excited about! After the shopping trip I was completely worn out. Our intern team is made up of four people including me. Two of us are extroverts and two introverts. It seems that the introverts had no problem with this experience; they said it was fun, relaxing, and not stressful at all. The two extroverts on the other hand were overwhelmed, exhausted, and frazzled by the end of the day. I think it has to do with not wanting to disappoint people in social environments, but either way I was tired.

I was asked to sing in church on Sunday which is such an honor but I am a but nervous. Today I will go to the practice for that. In the afternoon I have a meeting with my mentor Rita, and then I am meeting up with my friend Sarah who is in the Peace Corps here. Tonight we have our hangout night for college students and I have a plan to chat with my Malawian friend Harry about fashion, as he is a fashion student, and after the hangout night we have to go to the Flood Sat. night service at the College of Health Sciences. Its strange how my busy schedule from American life is following me here in Malawi but I think I am to blame. I don’t want to miss out on any opportunity to have quality time with someone and hear about their life while I’m here.

Starting Monday I will be traveling out to Lake Malawi, which I hear is beautiful for an 8 day YoungLife camp. There are three two-day camps total and we are living in cabins and tents. I am hoping that it will bring me back to my younger years spent at Forest Home, I am excited to be camping, to take walks outdoor, and to serve the kids. I don’t think I will have any type of Internet out there so I will update again when I return next Tuesday. 

Malawi 7/18/13

      I wake up to the call of birds I have never heard before; I drive home from a days work witnessing the most beautiful sunsets I’ve ever seen. I thank God for all of these creations and the chance I have to experience them if only for a short time. Everyday I get the opportunity the serve the Lords people in different ways. I am so exhausted at the end of each day but it is always well worth every drop of energy. I am so blessed that I get to visit the same ministries every week that I get to create relationships with the people I am serving instead of just being a faint memory in their minds. I am a month into this internship and I am already preparing myself for the pain that is to come with saying goodbye to these wonderful people.

I drove on the left side of the road yesterday! That was a cool experience for sure, it’s a lot easier than it looks but I loved being able to run errands in town without having to inconvenience someone from the Flood offices to take us. The weeks go by so quickly and it is scarring me how quickly they seem to be flying by. I have fallen in love with the people I work with and the work that we do together. Growth group on Tuesday nights is one of my favorite things to be a part of. Even when I was back home, I could feel that being a part of a small group was something I was looking for in life. I have been so blessed to be a part of this group of followers; I have learned so much from listening to them and sharing my stories as well.  

Tomorrow we are going to a market where I plan on getting some Malawian fabric! I am excited to see the people and all of the goods they are selling. Saturdays have become extremely busy for us; in the mornings we go to the college of health sciences and invite people to our Sat night hangouts at Papaya (a restaurant in town). Then we go to Papaya and set up until people start coming. After the hangout that lasts from 4-7 we go back to the college for a Saturday night service until 10pm! I am glad that we have been able to spend time with these college students and help spread the word about Flood church in Malawi.

Today I was surprised to run into my friend Sarah Weber that I worked with at Point Loma for a semester! I knew she was in the Peace Corps here and we had planned to met up and chat but we ended up running into each other prematurely! It was such a great surprise, I plan to catch up with her more later on this week. 

As a team we are going through the book of Nehemiah in the mornings for devotion and I have been leading them this week. It has been interesting to really study an Old Testament book. I am learning so much by preparing these times of devotion and I am thankful for the opportunity.

I have realized that I have gotten used to many of the cultural differences here in Malawi and I am excited to see how I respond to American living when I return. I will be thankful every time the light switch works, every time I use the washer and dryer, and every time I drive on a paved road. I am so thankful that none of my clothes have holes in them, that I can wash the dust off of my feet before I get in bed at night and that I have a family that loves me. There is so much to be thankful for in this life and I am glad that I have had the opportunity to be reminded of that.