Malawi 7/27/13

I got back to the city of Lilongwe last night at 2 a.m. and here is the story. 

Last Monday we took a four-hour mini bus ride to Lake Malawi. It was a rough ride, my knees were never without a metal bar against them. When we finally arrived the beautiful view made the long travel worth it. All I wanted to do was relax and that’s what I did for about an hour until we had to go to a work crew meeting. This was a YoungLife camp at the lake and we were staying at a resort that was really a hotel with individual rooms around its property. The place was run down and it was out job as work crew to make sure that the kids felt like they were at a 5 star resort. The first full day was spent doing manual labor. Once lunchtime rolled around I was completely spent, with nowhere to sleep. Later that night we finally got our cabin assignments and I crashed hard for longer than I was supposed to. This week at the lake was going to consist of three different camps. When one left after three days another batch of kids would show up. Preparing for the kids was harder than actually having them there. I think the disorganization of tasks was the most frustrating. Once all of the activities started things improved, there was beach volleyball and soccer, a bonfire, a food fight, and swimming in the lake. The campers had cabin time with their leader and a few times for lessons about what the Christian life looks like.

I have realized that I am not a natural born camper. I didn’t enjoy the aspect of being dirty all of the time or smelling like the lake, but I tried to work as hard as I could everyday to make camp a memorable experience for the campers. I met so many wonderful people, mostly from the work crew. I am always amazed at the relationships that I am able to form in such a short amount of time. Its my friendships with these people that is going to make leaving Malawi so hard.

We had a few free hours between camps yesterday so all of the work crew jumped in the back of a truck that drove us down the road to a fishing port. We got into a boat and set out for an island in the middle of the lake. The boat ride was so nice, and once we got to the island we climbed around on all of the rocks and went swimming! It was such a fun adventure and the water was so clear we could see all of the fish we were swimming with!

My friend Krysti was sharing a room with me and had started to feel sick. I did my best to take care of her with the limited supplies that I had with me at camp, but she ended up having to go to a local doctor who told her that she probably has Malaria. Not good new. Her and I were asked if we wanted to head back home and we did so we had two Malawians go with us to navigate the public transportation and we were off at about 4pm. We got a ride to the bus station and caught a mini bus to the first stop where we waited an hour for a large bus that should have taken us all the way home but they were all full. Luckily our new friend Andrew took good care of us and speaks the local language so he did his best to figure out an alternative plan. We decided to take a mini bus all the way home so we jumped on the next one because it was getting pretty dark and was almost 8pm. The bus went down the road for about 5 minutes and then decided that it wasn’t going to make the two-hour trip back to Lilongwe after all. They pretty much just kicked us out and tried to help us find a random passing car to take us to the closest bus depot. After about a half an our we found a random man driving a mini van that took us to a local bus/ truck stop. We waited on the side of the road for another hour waiting for a large bus or even a truck that hauls goods to agree to give us a life home. It was about 10 pm at this time and I was getting cold so I busted open my suit case and added to my outfit right on the side of my road with all of my friends laughing at me for changing in public. We FINALLY found a businessman in a small Mercedes Benz who was on his was to our city. We had asked about 7 different cars and trucks for rides before we found this man. We got in the car without knowing anything about this person and trusted him to get us home. Andrew talked to him the whole time to keep him awake and to find out it he was trustworthy. I ignorantly fell to sleep and woke up in Lilongwe! It was about 1 a.m. when we finally arrived. Pastor Sean met us and took us home where my wonder host Edith was waiting for us with a full dinner prepared.

Throughout this whole process and week I was diligently in prayer. It has probably been the hardest week I have endured since I have been here in Malawi. The camp was so trying and really tested my patience and endurance. The journey home was so scary at times and all I could do was pray that God was sitting next to me wherever I was. I don’t think I have ever been so grateful in my life as when I was sitting in that last car on my way back to Lilongwe. I couldn’t believe that we were secure and actually found a ride all the way back home. When we arrived at my house I was exhausted and giddy all at the same time. God has shown me that even in situations where I am uncomfortable and not in control He ALWAYS reigns. He is always in control and I should be thanking Him for the trials that are opportunities to increase my faith and trust in Him.

Since I am back early without the rest of the interns, and Krysti is resting in bed I am going to start doing all of the things we would normally do in a week by myself! Tonight we have college hangout and Saturday night church. I am so glad that I don’t have to miss these things! Tomorrow I will get to go to Flood and sat goodbye to a few missions teams that are just about to head back to the states. I am realizing how settled I am here in Lilongwe. It is going to be so painful to leave. I don’t know when I will be back or when I will get to see these friends I have made again and that is the worst part. I am torn between two worlds. I miss my home, my friends, and family, but there is something about living in Malawi that makes my dependence and relationship with Christ so tangible. I never thought I would absolutely love it here but I am realizing that I do and that I am not ready to leave this place. 

Malawi 7/20/13

         I have become so fond of listening to crickets outside my window as I fall asleep at night. Last night, we went over to the house where Julia, one on the interns, is staying and her family cooked us dinner. We were supposed to eat there the night before but the water went out and there was no way to cook dinner so we rescheduled. As they were getting ready to start cooking the power went out which is widely expected but always a surprise. The remedy was so go outside and start two small charcoal fires that we cooked sweet potatoes and chicken over. It takes a bit longer but it was so enjoyable just to sit outside around the fire and under the starts with good people. This family just got a new puppy and it took turns falling asleep on us. The night was amazing and we learned more about what we will be doing next week at the YoungLife camp we are serving at.

We go to villages quite a bit and there are sights I will never get used to. Children always run up to us and grab or hands or pet our skin; and usually there are one small child, maybe age 5 or 6 who has a baby ties to their back. Its most likely a little girl that has the task of watching over this infant while she tries to run and play with the kids her age. This doesn’t seem to bother them at all, but I can see that when the other kids run around and play they are usually tending to the baby strapped to their backs.

Last week at Chisomo Idea I think I had the most fun I have and may ever have! The language barrier between the kids and us interns is deep so after a few minutes of starting at each other you usually just start running around. This week I passed out some girly jewelry that my friend Teagan sent me off to Malawi with and they loved it! Then we started running around a little. I decided that teaching them how to do a conga line would be fun and I was right! I had almost all of the kids lined up holding each other’s shoulders and kicking every three steps! I was laughing so hard and I bet the kids didn’t even know why. I also started doing some yoga poses and found out that some kids were copying me so I started a mini yoga class right there on the dirt soccer field. It was such a great day and I am always so sad to leave those kids.

Yesterday we had a rest day so we decided to go to a market to buy some Malawi souvenirs. So far on the trip we haven’t gone shopping at all so we were very excited. We showed up at the first market and it resembled something of a swap meet where everyone has similar things and there is too much to look at. The only thing different from shopping in America are the men that shamelessly solicit you to buy there things. They sow you things you don’t want, they attack you if they see you looking at anything they are selling, and they don’t take no for an answer. They are trained salesmen to the point of fault.  Oh yeah and I forgot to mention that there are no prices so you have to haggle. I hate haggling. I feel like I am insulting them if I issue to low a price and I know that they are ripping me off if I take their offered price. I was swarmed by so many salesmen and if I said that I wanted to look around but I would come back, they would make me promise that I would in fact come back. It was a completely overwhelming experience that I didn’t like altogether but I did like the outcome. Although I had to have my friend Krysti with me at all time because she wasn’t afraid to say no to people I ended up with some pretty cool stuff. I got some paper beads, which I have wanted for awhile, I got a beautiful painting that I didn’t know I wanted until I was shown about 100 paintings. I also got three meters of fabric that I am so excited about! After the shopping trip I was completely worn out. Our intern team is made up of four people including me. Two of us are extroverts and two introverts. It seems that the introverts had no problem with this experience; they said it was fun, relaxing, and not stressful at all. The two extroverts on the other hand were overwhelmed, exhausted, and frazzled by the end of the day. I think it has to do with not wanting to disappoint people in social environments, but either way I was tired.

I was asked to sing in church on Sunday which is such an honor but I am a but nervous. Today I will go to the practice for that. In the afternoon I have a meeting with my mentor Rita, and then I am meeting up with my friend Sarah who is in the Peace Corps here. Tonight we have our hangout night for college students and I have a plan to chat with my Malawian friend Harry about fashion, as he is a fashion student, and after the hangout night we have to go to the Flood Sat. night service at the College of Health Sciences. Its strange how my busy schedule from American life is following me here in Malawi but I think I am to blame. I don’t want to miss out on any opportunity to have quality time with someone and hear about their life while I’m here.

Starting Monday I will be traveling out to Lake Malawi, which I hear is beautiful for an 8 day YoungLife camp. There are three two-day camps total and we are living in cabins and tents. I am hoping that it will bring me back to my younger years spent at Forest Home, I am excited to be camping, to take walks outdoor, and to serve the kids. I don’t think I will have any type of Internet out there so I will update again when I return next Tuesday. 

Malawi 7/18/13

      I wake up to the call of birds I have never heard before; I drive home from a days work witnessing the most beautiful sunsets I’ve ever seen. I thank God for all of these creations and the chance I have to experience them if only for a short time. Everyday I get the opportunity the serve the Lords people in different ways. I am so exhausted at the end of each day but it is always well worth every drop of energy. I am so blessed that I get to visit the same ministries every week that I get to create relationships with the people I am serving instead of just being a faint memory in their minds. I am a month into this internship and I am already preparing myself for the pain that is to come with saying goodbye to these wonderful people.

I drove on the left side of the road yesterday! That was a cool experience for sure, it’s a lot easier than it looks but I loved being able to run errands in town without having to inconvenience someone from the Flood offices to take us. The weeks go by so quickly and it is scarring me how quickly they seem to be flying by. I have fallen in love with the people I work with and the work that we do together. Growth group on Tuesday nights is one of my favorite things to be a part of. Even when I was back home, I could feel that being a part of a small group was something I was looking for in life. I have been so blessed to be a part of this group of followers; I have learned so much from listening to them and sharing my stories as well.  

Tomorrow we are going to a market where I plan on getting some Malawian fabric! I am excited to see the people and all of the goods they are selling. Saturdays have become extremely busy for us; in the mornings we go to the college of health sciences and invite people to our Sat night hangouts at Papaya (a restaurant in town). Then we go to Papaya and set up until people start coming. After the hangout that lasts from 4-7 we go back to the college for a Saturday night service until 10pm! I am glad that we have been able to spend time with these college students and help spread the word about Flood church in Malawi.

Today I was surprised to run into my friend Sarah Weber that I worked with at Point Loma for a semester! I knew she was in the Peace Corps here and we had planned to met up and chat but we ended up running into each other prematurely! It was such a great surprise, I plan to catch up with her more later on this week. 

As a team we are going through the book of Nehemiah in the mornings for devotion and I have been leading them this week. It has been interesting to really study an Old Testament book. I am learning so much by preparing these times of devotion and I am thankful for the opportunity.

I have realized that I have gotten used to many of the cultural differences here in Malawi and I am excited to see how I respond to American living when I return. I will be thankful every time the light switch works, every time I use the washer and dryer, and every time I drive on a paved road. I am so thankful that none of my clothes have holes in them, that I can wash the dust off of my feet before I get in bed at night and that I have a family that loves me. There is so much to be thankful for in this life and I am glad that I have had the opportunity to be reminded of that. 

Malawi 7/11/13

       Well it’s been a few days since I last wrote. I have gotten over a cold, been tested for Malaria, and slept a lot. While I was sick I had times of missing home, but then I was reminded that God is always with me and wherever I am with Him, that is my home. Sickness is often a great reminder for me of my weakness and humanness. Being sick reminds me that I can do nothing without the help of my Lord. Edith, my host took such good care of me and I was better in a couple of days. I had to miss a trip into the village but my team caught me up and it sounded like an incredible experience for them. I am so grateful for my room and bed here at my home in Malawi, because I no there is no way I would have made it being sick in a village.

My first day out of the house after being sick was church. I figured I could stay awake for a couple hours and I am so glad that I went. People I didn’t even know were asking if I was feeling better and giving me hugs and words of encouragement. It felt like the whole church had noticed my absence. I was incredibly overwhelmed with the close relationships I have formed here in only three weeks. I love that I have the gift of time on this trip, I can continue to grow and build these relationships and learn from these wonderful people. I was so glad to not be sick anymore.

Monday was a day off for all of Malawi to celebrate their independence. I met with my mentor in the morning to chat and then the team and I were off to a 4^th of July party that a friend from church was throwing at her house. It was a few days late but such a nice idea. I had completely forgotten about the 4^th of July since I was sick and sleeping through the days at that point. We made a cake and potato salad to bring to this patriotic BBQ. I was surprised at the amount of British people that were there, but I guess it was really a white persons party with a few fun Malawians thrown in! We had a blast, eating, meeting new people, listening to country music, talking about tradition, and sitting around the fire pit. I came home smelling like smoke but it was worth it to experience a little bit of home for a night.

Tuesdays are our days in the village helping out at Grace of God nursery. The last time we went there I was suffering from allergies and jet lag so it wasn’t my favorite experience, and that upset me. I wanted to love the village and not let the dirt, and the hard lifestyle bother me. I went into this day rested and with an open mind. We got there and while everyone else helped with lunch I immediately picked up two babies like I usually do. There were puppies running around as well so the kids and I played with those while we waited for lunch. At one point this sweet little boy ran up to my and hugged my legs and just stood there and wouldn’t let me move. It was the sweetest thing, so we just continued to stand there for a few minutes in this hug. I sat with the babies as they ate lunch, tried feed me and touch my earrings at the same time. The interns and I then went to eat the lunches that we had packed for ourselves in a different part of the village and we ended up playing UNO with our friend Ben, which believe it or not is extremely popular here. After the lunch break we went to the Grace of God bible study where we sang songs with the kids and I got the chance to teach them the song, “Awesome God” and we practiced it a few times before Krysti, another member of my team told the kids a bible story. When Bible study was over we went outside to play. We had brought toys with us so there were a few soccer balls being kicked around and a large colorful parachute was floating up and down as the children figured out how to use it. I was watching them create a dust cloud from a distance when someone asked me if I knew how to make balloon animals and luckily I did! I soon became the balloon animal lady and had a mob of eager children all waiting for their own. I only remembered how to make a dog, but they didn’t seem to mind. We started blowing up water balloons with air and letting the wind take them, and the kids chase them. Then the real water balloons emerged and lets just say we all got pretty wet, but the kids loved it and that’s all that really matters. We left shortly after that but I take so much comfort in knowing that we will be back next week to share God's love again.

Today we went to Chisomo Idea, which is a ministry started by a Flood staff member back in San Diego that grew up in Malawi. His name is Noel and he got a soccer scholarship to San Diego Christian from Malawi and his goal is to run a soccer ministry so that kids here can have the opportunity to develop their skills in soccer and maybe end up getting a scholarship like he did. The ministry does a lot more than coach soccer but today we went to the practice. It is held on a large dirt field in the back of a village and there were a ton of boys and girls there ready to play as well as a bunch of village children. As we played with the kids in the village the other kids did their soccer practice. I saw that many of them are playing with one soccer shoe, but that didn’t stop them from being amazing. The little children never let go of our hands and would sometimes fight over who got to hold them. I had some fun, giggly, little girls asking me my name and calling to me unexpectedly. They loved me so much it literally hurt. I thought they were going to dislocate my shoulders from pulling on me so tight. After laughing, and playing with them I took a few over to a small dirt ledge and sat to watch the practice. I had one little girl on my lap that would just stare at my face, touch my earring and my face, and pet me hair occasionally. I had another little girl nestled into my side, taking a nap under the warmth of my arm, and a few others sitting with us as well. It was a beautiful and relaxing moment of just sitting in Gods love. I didn’t need to be crazy and wild for them to have fun with me, I was tired and they could see that. All they wanted to do was sit and be loved by me, so that’s what we did.

I have been reading this book title, “Kisses from Katie” about a girl my age who moved to Uganda a few years ago to do Gods work and ended up staying permanently and adopting 14 girls. It is an incredible book that was really challenged me especially since I am in Africa and I can see the devastation she is talking about everyday. She has been through so many obstacles but no matter how painful she keeps giving glory to God and through her story you can see His faithfulness. There is a prayer that she shares at the end of the book that really meant something to me so I wanted to share it.

“Lord, may we choose you every moment of every day. We want to be fully committed to you. We want every day to become a day we say “yes” to you. We repent for lukewarm-ness, from mediocrity, from normalcy. We want to shine so brightly for you that others cant help but see and feel your love.

Lord, on the days where helping just one more person seems like too much, help me to choose you.

On the days when satan whispers, “You cant save everyone, why are you trying?” let me choose You. When harsh words are easier to find than kind ones, let me choose You.

Father like Paul I know what I want to do, what I should do, and yet I find myself failing and discouraged. Thank you for Your grace. Thank you that You who sit so high would look low upon people like me and use us as a vessel for you. How blessed are we to be called servants, to be able to share in your kingdom and share your love with others. Thank you for the cross, where you have given us peace and holiness. Father, we long to say yes to You.

Malawi Day 13

6/29/13

     Friday’s are our rest days here is Malawi. They sound like a luxury, but they have happened to be 100% necessary with the busy schedules we have. I am finally on Malawi time, but I am so use to early mornings that sleeping in doesn’t come easy. I got up at about 7:30, made myself breakfast, and did some reading. I had my first experience doing laundry today, which takes two hours in the small washing machine and then you have to walk around the back of the house to the clothes line to hang dry your clothes. Believe it or not I LOVED hanging up my clothes! Krysti; one of my team members told me I probably just like it because the backyard acts as a gigantic closet, with all my clothes neatly hung up and dancing in the wind. I will never again complain about doing my laundry, with it taking only about an hour of my day. I am adjusting to all of my clothes feeling rough and scratchy from life without a dryer, but I am deeply thankful that they are clean. 

Even though Fridays are supposed to be free of plans we actually had a worship night to go to. Our friend Humphreys was performing and he asked us to go support the Flood band. We didn’t really know what we were getting into but it was nice to get dressed, and out of the house. When we arrived I saw that it was held in a large wedding style tent outside, this scared me since winter nights in Malawi are harsh. I usually bundle up every night just for bed and now we were going to be at this church service for who knows how long. The start of the event was fantastic; it was completely refreshing to spend sometime in worship. Then there were some dance, rap, and spoken word performances that were so impressive. The whole point was to show the group how people use their talents to glorify God. A speaker came up next and gave a great sermon that I can hardly remember because I was colder than I’ve ever been.

The next few lines are going to sound a bit dramatic but I promise that they are not exaggerated AT ALL. I was wearing a thin maxi skirt, sandals, and a light cover up. The speaker went on for about an hour, I was so cold I was actually getting angry. I have never experienced what being that cold can do to a person, but last night I did. I couldn’t feel my feet, goose bumps covered my entire body, no matter how tightly I held myself there was no relief, I actually started to tear up at one point but chocked it back since I was in the front row and the sermon was still going on. I actually caught myself audibly groaning a few times. I started praying that the sermon would end and contemplated asking my host if we could just get up and leave in the middle of the talk. I kept toughing it out, and finally it looked like the sermon was ending and then someone got up to pray and that got lengthy as well. The worship band came up to sing two more songs and I just couldn’t take it anymore so I decided to sit down in a ball until the songs, and ending announcements were over. Krysti and I RAN to the car immediately after the service ended and cranked up the heat. She admitted to me that she had been crying a little as well, so that made me feel like less of a wimp. We just sat there, complained and un-thawed together. I am constantly reminded of how weak I am, and also how privileged I have been at times. My prayer is to be tougher and to be able to put mind over matter. I kept looking around me in amazement at all of the others contently sitting in this tent of ice. I admitted that I rarely get this upset about things, or complain openly, but this was an exception.

I started to un-thaw after a few minutes in the car and I swear my heartbeat sped up a little. We started our drive home and all four of us just talked about how long and cold our night had been, and how we would have dressed if we would have known earlier what we were in for. Edith; our host and driver pointed out some girls on the side of the road and said, “Imagine how cold they are with what they’re wearing.” I slowly opened my eyes and saw a whole street lined with prostitutes, wearing extremely small outfits.

My heart instantly broke into a million pieces.

If I was freezing in my outfit that covered everything but my face their physical pain must be excruciating. Then I thought about what their lives must be like being in that line of work and having to work the streets in the cold winter nights. I wanted to get out of the car and tell them that Jesus loves them so much, and then offer them a hot meal and somewhere to sleep. I don’t have anything to offer here though and that made me feel helpless. I instantly felt ashamed for all of my complaining. Again I am left with the thought, why them? Why not me? How did my life get to be so good? How did they end up selling themselves for money? How did I avoid that fate?

Jesus.

That is the only answer I have. I wish I knew more, I wish I knew how to fix their problems, but I don’t and I think that is part of being a human. We will never have all the answers, and that is a good thing. Only God needs to know what is going on with every thing, and every human in the world. The ignorance we have is built-in so that we will come running to Him with our questions and needs instead of relying on ourselves for answers. We constantly need to be reminded that we are not in control.

A few days ago I learned about a ministry called African Enterprise that gets women off the streets and offers them a place to live, and a program to go though for a certain amount of time that gets them clean, teaches them about Jesus, and teaches them how to sew. My jaw dropped when I heard about this ministry. The first thing I said was, “Where can I sign up!? “ The program is meant to rehabilitate these women and teach them a skill that can become their main source of income when they have completed the program.

I fell in love with the idea.

During our morning devotion the other day Pastor Sean told us to be looking for the things in life that break our hearts, because that is what God has called us to focus on. Everyone’s heart is broken for a different cause, we are not all the same and that is a beautiful thing. When something breaks our heart we are called to work on fixing it. By fixing that one injustice we are helping the world become a better place, more focused on Jesus and less on sin.

The day we went to the village I saw that the kid’s clothes were all tattered and I thought I could definitely do something about that with the talents that I have been given. I could sew new school uniforms for the kids in the orphanage, easy. Although the idea was good, and I could tell God smiled upon it, it didn’t necessarily break my heart. The idea of prostitution, rape, and women not knowing how valuable they are in the eyes of their Heavenly Father DOES break my heart. It breaks my heart so much that I hesitate even going there, I am not sure that I would even be able to handle a ministry that heavy. It hurts to even think about, and sometimes it is easier just to push out of my mind. That to me is a sign that this is something God has given me compassion for, something that breaks my heart because it breaks His heart.

When I heard about African Enterprises I was inspired. This is a ministry that combines the rehabilitation of women, as well as my love for sewing. I am interested in giving people skills that they can use for the rest of their lives, not just giving them charity. I still want to make uniforms for the kids, children are innocent; they can’t have jobs or fend for themselves, so I don’t really see that as a hand out as much as taking care of their basic human needs for clothing. But being a part of teaching someone a skill that will allow them to make a living for the rest of their lives is in incredible honor.

They will feel worth and accomplishment. They will be able to experience creative design and purpose. They will be able to clothe themselves, their families, and their clients. I am in love with this idea. I am so glad that Pastor Sean challenged us with finding our cause and purpose, because otherwise I would have been far too scared to even approach the idea of helping women who have lost their way, and feel they have no other options than to sell themselves to live. I have a friend who is studying to be a therapist who deals specially with sexual abuse patients because she herself has been affected by this sin. When she told me that this was her purpose and goal after college I was in awe. I remember thinking that she must be so strong, and that I was just not made for something that harsh. I have been told a few times by a few people that I am thin skinned, weak, sensitive, or too empathetic. Now I renounce those lies and can realize that yes I do feel peoples pain easily but that is a gift, and I can use that to help people though some of the toughest days of their lives if I allow God to do His work though me and break down the walls that I have spent 22 year building up.