Welcome Home

      Im back in the USA and its never been so much work to fit back into my own culture. I am so glad to be home and have found much needed rest and time with friends and family. My jet lag is slightly annoying and I cant wait to be over it, I actually looked up the negatives of jet lag and learned that depending on the hours of time change you experience, that is how many days you need to give yourself to readjust. That means that I won't start to feel normal again for 9 days! I am currently on day 6 so things are starting to get better thankfully.

I have been keeping a list of the things that have been shocking to me, or things that have caught my attention but never seemed to matter before. Right when we got off the plane my team wanted to get their first Starbucks in 2 months so we were in line and by the time I got up to the front I saw these apples for sale by the cash register, they were gigantic and individually plastic wrapped. America is big on size as well as cleanliness and the rest of the world is just not on that level. That was my first shock. Apples aren't supposed to be that big, its the size of a whole meal, why does it need to be individually wrapped, what a waste of plastic....etc. It was an interesting experience and I had only been in America for two minutes.

I had to buy myself lunch for the plane since I had been traveling for more that 30 hours and they weren't serving food on our domestic flight to San Diego, so I got in line at a fast food mexican restaurant. I knew what I wanted, and when I made it to the front of the line the pace at which the workers were moving and talking to me was overwhelming and I felt like I could state my order fast enough to please her. Then she asked me what dressing I wanted and I didn't see that I needed to have a choice prepared beforehand so I took my time to look at the long list of options and she just ended up picking one for me and sending me on my way because I was slowing down her line. Lets just say I got back to my terminal a but flustered.

Many other things around town have stood out to me since I have been home like the quality of toilet paper, the nice cars that EVERYONE drives, so many choices, so many stores, its all a but overwhelming. Life is so easy here yet everyone finds something to complain about. People think that people in Africa are poor and feel sorry for them because they don't have all of the material possessions that Americans do, but the thing that they are missing is relational value. Africans have such a rich culture with a heavy importance on family and relationships. They are rich in the sense of having true relationships and fellowship, material possessions would simply be a distraction. Possessions are all most of us have here, family time is of no importance. In a home with multiple family members everyone gets their own food and then goes to their own rooms to spend time on their computers or watching their T.V.s. Now I know that not everyone is like this but it is something that really stood out to me. Where, how, and with who we spend our time is what makes us rich.

I am back at home in LA now resting up before I move semi permanently back to San Diego. I am currently looking for a job in San Diego and getting prepared for the move. I don'd know what the future holds for me but I know that I am on Gods plan and not my own. He will direct me toward what work He needs done in San Diego and I will follow His direction. Please keep me and my team in your prayers and we readjust, and try to translate all we have learned into our lives here. Thank you so much for your continued love and support.

Malawi 8/11/13

  It’s been a while since I have taken the time to sit down and write out my thoughts and experiences. I have grown so fond of my life here and I guess while I was in the midst of living it I have forgotten to reflect on it with consideration and gratitude. Since my last update the family that owns the house we are living in returned from their vacation in the states and it has been a joy to get to know them. They have three little kids that have been so fun to play with. I got another opportunity to sing in the church band and this time I got to pick the song and solo in it! It was a great experience to share some of my favorite worship songs with my church here in Malawi.

I have realized how far I’ve come and how much I’ve learned since I first arrived here. I see people I know when I drive into town to go grocery shopping. I know how to get around the city and some simple directions; I’ve learned how to drive on the left side of the road. I have been exposed to a different culture in more ways than I thought was possible. I have learned traditional customs and everyday street smarts that every Malawian should know. I have seen how others grew up and the daily struggles that they face, things that I have never even imagined dealing with. I have found appreciation for the life I live in the US as well as guilt and confusion. I have met so many wonderful friends that I am going to miss dearly everyday I am away from them.

I have found new causes and people that I want to support, new ministries that my heart cries out to. I have been challenged by my environment, as well as the people in it. I have also been uplifted in the same ways and situations. I have had the opportunity to share my story with others, and even realized some hardships in my life that I do not even give thought to. It is a strange feeling for people to call out trials in your life that you have always just dealt with because you had to and that you never saw as a life-changing event. I have been asked questions that I have never had to answer before, and met people that were kind to me when they had no reason to be. I have been trusted with many people’s stories and secrets and through that I have seen faith, trust, vulnerability, and Christ.

These past few weeks were full of reflection and coming to terms with the fact that I am headed back to the states, even if I am going somewhat unwillingly. I have gotten used to my life here and I love the adjustments living here has called out in me. I am so reliant on God and others here and not just myself like I am at home. I have been shown that my gifts, when put into action, are always enough in the eyes of the Lord, and that I can do so much for His kingdom than I ever thought I could.  I have known that I love missions but after my first long term missions trip I can actually see myself living abroad, adopting another culture, and church family. The dreams that used to scare me don’t seem so impossible anymore. I need your help in praying for my calling. I am searching out a place to work, devote myself to, and to spend my time for the next few years that will glorify God, His people, and put my gifts into action. Please pray for guidance, opportunities, and above all trust and faith in His decisions, and timing. I don’t know what my future holds but if it is anything like my time in Malawi I know that it will be rewarding, glorifying, yet completely terrifying at the same time. I am so willing to live a life that is out of my comfort zone in order to bring people into Christ’s kingdom. I want people to see His love for them through my actions and sometimes words. I want a life that is fully surrendered to Him.

Adaptability is something that I have always struggled with. I think that mission’s work really stretches me in this area and allows me to go with the flow. Last week was supposed to be our last week of activities while we are here. The last time we would get to see all of the people we have met through all of the ministries we have been a part of. All but one of the days activities last week got cancelled and instead of being sad that I wouldn’t get to say goodbye to the people I have been working with I saw it as a blessing that I didn’t know that the last time I was with them was actually the last time. I think God knows how hard it is going to be for me to leave this place and these people and was making those goodbyes a little easier for me. There is always a light in the darkness.

I am in the midst of packing and deciding what I am going to leave her and to whom I wish to leave them to. I plan on coming back with significantly less that I arrived with. I am very blessed in the states to have more than I need and it seems only right to leave what I have brought here. This week we will be on safari, which I am so unsure about. People say that it will be like a vacation, a relaxing time. I hope they are right because at this point in the trip I am feeling exhausted in everyway. I am not looking forward to the extremely long plane ride but once I am on my way home I am sure I will be excited to arrive and see everyone I have been missing so dearly. We get back from the safari on Friday and that is when we will be reunited with the Flood interns that have been in San Diego all summer. I am so excited to reconnect with them and hear about their summers abroad. I am sure that talking to them will make me very anxious to get back home to San Diego! We will have a one day retreat with them and then hop on a plane on Sunday right after we make a quick appearance at church to say goodbye to the congregation that has so graciously welcomed us as their own.

Hopefully I will be able to write again before I get ready to head home next Sunday. In the mean time know that I miss you all very much and please continue to pray for our team. These next few days are going to be very challenging, and I know that I will need Gods grace to get through them and not completely loose myself if the emotions of saying goodbye for an unknown amount of time. Thank you!